http://arabnews.com/saudiarabia/article229934.ece
Divorced women in Kingdom struggle to find social acceptance
By RIMA AL-MUKHTAR | ARAB NEWS
Published: Jan 5, 2011 22:56 Updated: Jan 5, 2011 22:56
JEDDAH: To be a divorcee in Saudi society is like having a scarlet letter burned on the chest. Many women who happen to leave marriages are forced into a life of shame; for some this is so much that they remain perpetually hidden behind closed doors.
One thing that is for sure is that society fails to give these women a chance to breathe; they are spoken about and made to feel awkward wherever they go. "Nobody educated me about the next step after getting married and I blame my parents for that," said Nadia Al-Otaiby, a 38-year-old divorcee. "I asked for a divorce only one month after I got married because I found out that the man I married was impossible to live with. There were also some other reasons which I prefer keeping to myself," she said.
"Imagine what people said about me when I got divorced just 30 days after getting married. Now I'm forced to walk shamefully whenever I leave the house as if I did something wrong," she added.
Every woman dreams to have a wedding day in which she is the center of attention among hundreds of women. However, when she gets divorced she turns into the center of attention of not just those who were invited to her wedding but the entire society.
"I never thought of what there might be after the wedding. Prior to getting married I was entirely concerned with the small details of my house, my wedding and where I would be spending my honeymoon," said Maymoona Ali, a 26-year-old divorcee. "I ended up marrying a man who used to beat me up day and night for no reason. I remember getting punched in the face for opening the door to a delivery boy. I was married for two years and never had any children and then people started blaming me, saying I was sterile and this is why I got divorced. The person who was spreading these rumors were his mother and sisters, they did this to cover up for their son's crime," she added.
Parents say their goodbyes to their newlywed daughters with tears in their eyes, but when they return, divorced, they look at them doubtfully. "My father locked me in the house fearing I'd do something inappropriate. I used to go out all the time with my friends and cousins before I got married, but now they think going out is a crime," said Razan Jalal, a 29-year-old divorcee. "He even made me quit my job saying if I kept working, then people would think he couldn't afford to look after me," she added.
Being a second or third wife or even being in a misyar marriage is better for some divorced Saudi women than being divorced. "I remarried a man who was already married to two women before me just to stop people looking at me in a weird way when I go out in public," said Hanan Ahmed, a 37-year-old housewife. "It's funny how I gained respect after marrying a man who is already married after losing it when I got divorced. I sometimes feel our society is hypocritical," she added.
A recent study in Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) countries showed that the number of divorces has risen and is continuing to rise in the region. According to figures published in 2008, 20 percent of marriages were ending in divorce in the Kingdom.
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